i knew i'd find it. i've been trying to think of the exact words of that quote for awhile. there are many ways to say what you said above, but the main point is that with change comes opportunity. i like how general macarthur put that into words, because he included the reality that we sometimes feel the illusion of security when we do things the same way we have always done them. however, there is no security in that. life gives us situations, and it is what we do in those situations that determines our destinies.
another reality is that it is usually action alone that defines us in our own self-perceptions and our 'selves' in the the perceptions of others.
i've sought love and trust and respect from people, based on 'who i am' (as you put it) - based on my own perception of who i am, as a person. other peoples' opinions that have been voiced to me (directly or indirectly) about myself have colored my own self-perceptions also, and have become part of my self-perception. what i've found, in reality, is that people give love and trust and respect based on one's actions - not some illusion of who you are as a person.
life deals your cards, to put it in another way, and it doesn't matter what you've done in the past, how good or bad of a card player you are, or what kind of a history you've had as a person, the only thing that really matters is what you do with that hand - right here. right now.
you'll remember what you made of a situation. other people that were touched by the experience also will remember what you made of that situation. most people won't take the time to analyze your history - where you came from, your childhood, your younger years, your middle years. what they'll remember is that one moment where you shined (or bombed?) and they saw it happen.
you've probably heard the phrase, 'never rest on your laurels'. it means don't hold so much pride in your past achievements that you forget that you are still alive - that life hasn't stopped putting you in challenging situations and opportunities to shine and grow and develop.
life seems crazy and chaotic most of the time, but when you reach the final years of your life i think it will all make sense. you'll look back and say, now i see how i came to be where i am today. this led to that. that led to this. this allowed this to happen. that prevented this from happening. that led to this. the road is much clearer then.
i'm not that old. 36. i just know enough from my own experiences that this is what we can expect when we look back at 40, 50, 60, 70, or more years of life - if we have the ability to recall that far and are cogent enough to synthesize all that information.
i've been in a similar situation as you are in - looking forward to change - to a new job in a new place - possibly a new lifestyle. i know how it can be exciting, scary, hopeful, and sad, all at the same time.
i wish you well.
...and (*clink*)... here's to new beginnings and the possibilities for further adventures.
