Yes, only fools rush in

I was breezin' through 43 Things, when I found some guy's goal to hack into his girl's private email account to confirm his suspicion that she is unfaithful to him.

Yes, only fools rush in. I couldn't escape how much I could relate to this uncomfortable situation.

Here is my addition to this thread, for which I can't seem to find the permalink:

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Not only are you right, but you have cut right to the point.

How can a man who does not trust his woman expect that woman to trust him?

It's easy for a man to feel paranoid, insecure, jealous, and worried when he is unsure of the truth. When the truth is uncertain the fear comes out.

It's more difficult and takes more discipline for a man to control his thoughts and emotions and get a freakin' grip. I know this, because I have played the jealous guy too. It's not a good role.

When a man gives in to jealous thoughts and fear, he loses the best parts of being a man. He loses confidence, strength, self-reliance, independence, and all that is what females value and call "masculine".

What is a man to do when he suspects that his woman might not be faithful?

What should he do when he suspects that his woman may be playing him for a fool, hiding the truth, lying, and sneaking, crawling around on the floor with another man?

Should he lose it? Should he act out his wrath? Should he go out to pursue her and look for her and, perhaps, catch her in the act? Should he check the usual suspects, which would be the ex-boyfriend, the ex-husband, the "friend" that you don't trust, the new guy she has taken an interest in?

Or...

Should the man play it cool? Should he exert self-control, witholding judgment until it is self-evident that his intuition is correct? Should he calm himself and tighten the reins on his imagination, or let his imagination run free and wild?

The man can betray his woman's trust, trying to get into her private emails against her wishes and without her knowledge. That man risks losing the potential for future trust. That man risks destroying any trust that is already there. For what? For finding out "the truth"?

Even if a man read every private email his woman sent or received, and he determined the truth about whether or not his girl is being faithful or not, there would be more questions. He would find secrets he did know about before. His mind would be filled with new information. He would doubt. He would question. Wild thoughts of suspicion and fear would race through his mind.

Would spying and stalking really solve anything? How many ends would a man leave unturned once he started? How far would a man go to decide for himself whether to trust or not?

- docrivs (blog website email)